An angry feeling

Have you felt some times, that you want to smash an object, slap someone hard, punch a bag, kick a piece of junk or just want to cry but dont know the reason why. Lately, I get this feeling a lot. A pressing sense of anger, an anger on the inability to change things, an anger on not able to show my anger. Its a parasite within you, living on you and eating you up.

But hey, there are many ways to calm yourself down, many ways to kick the parasite out of the system. There are ways to solve the problem when you know exactly what the problem is. When you are just dealing with a range of impulse not knowing from where or for what not, its coming, its hard to pin point. You cant fight a war with your eyes folded. But at least, its better to acknowledge that I am at war. An emotional war.

How to fight an war with your emotions ? If I knew the answer, I would probably not have written this blog. I know the answer lies within, but I am still searching for a way to find it. An answer that will have the power to heal/destroy everything that erodes you from within. I somehow think that if I am able to convince my mind to be conscious of the situation that brings up such feelings, I will be able to untie the knot on my eye and see the soldiers and actually start fighting and someday win the war. Or at least to sign a peace treaty. I hope that day comes soon before significant damage can be done.

But for now, I will just put this laptop aside, collect some glasses and go to the junkyard !!

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