4.13.2017

idream

I dream to reach for the stars
with just a paper boat

I dream to make a better world
with just a thought

I dream to cry out loud
with just a happy face

I dream to come to reality
with just your embrace

I dream to write a song
with just a broken empty pen

I dream to have a fight
with just me and you to win

2.18.2017

Voices and Glimpses

Waves of the ocean in dark
sounding it's presence, not revealing
sometimes wild, sometimes soothing
sometimes screaming, sometimes singing
Am I aligning my thoughts to their verses
or are they letting me feel what resides within.

From the shores, it looks like a black hole
a lighthouse showing me a glimpse
revealing the scarred face of ocean
seems like a mirror to my soul

12.13.2016

Alles Gute

This is the day when you came into to this world, its the day when I saw your face for the first time. You were wrapped into a bundle with warm cotton folds and seemed to me like the morning dew wrapped in layers of flower petals. Your eyes closed, with lavish eyelashes, the red nose with which you were breathing for the first time, your skin still covered with layers of your mom's protection that kept you safe for the first few months, made you look like a work of art which sprouts countless emotions that I did not even know existed.

Every year on this day, no matter how many years passes by, I will still remember the baby whose hands held my finger, never to let it go, whose head rested so perfectly in my palms, whose chest rested on my shoulders to burp after a feed, who found chest of his father more comfortable to the softness of the bed.

Happy Birthday son...for the years past and many more years to come !!

10.22.2016

Cherie forever

You were far, but never from my heart
Not in sight, but we never grew apart
I thought of you many times with a smile on my face
Now you gone leaving love as your trace
Thank you dear for all the joy and fun
I hope I gave you some too in return
Thanks to her who brought you and me together
In this cruel world you made our lives better
Hope you have a nice journey ahead
Keep spreading love like you always do
My hairy fluffy smelly baby
Cherie, I will miss you forever and ever

10.20.2016

An angry feeling

Have you felt some times, that you want to smash an object, slap someone hard, punch a bag, kick a piece of junk or just want to cry but dont know the reason why. Lately, I get this feeling a lot. A pressing sense of anger, an anger on the inability to change things, an anger on not able to show my anger. Its a parasite within you, living on you and eating you up.

But hey, there are many ways to calm yourself down, many ways to kick the parasite out of the system. There are ways to solve the problem when you know exactly what the problem is. When you are just dealing with a range of impulse not knowing from where or for what not, its coming, its hard to pin point. You cant fight a war with your eyes folded. But at least, its better to acknowledge that I am at war. An emotional war.

How to fight an war with your emotions ? If I knew the answer, I would probably not have written this blog. I know the answer lies within, but I am still searching for a way to find it. An answer that will have the power to heal/destroy everything that erodes you from within. I somehow think that if I am able to convince my mind to be conscious of the situation that brings up such feelings, I will be able to untie the knot on my eye and see the soldiers and actually start fighting and someday win the war. Or at least to sign a peace treaty. I hope that day comes soon before significant damage can be done.

But for now, I will just put this laptop aside, collect some glasses and go to the junkyard !!

9.26.2016

Hanging by a thread

There's a thread that stops me
Let's me hang on to everything I know
Abyss invites me, but the thread blinds me
Doesn't let me close my door

The thread is like silk
Hard and shiny, sharp and tiny
Touches you like cotton
Cuts you like a knife
Wants me to be a caterpillar
And not a mayfly

7.31.2016

Hold my finger, show me the way

There is a feeling, a sense of awe, a burst of joy, a volcano of love that I have never experienced before. A pure madness for him, a sense of incompleteness when he is not around, a sense of life when he is happy. There is a feeling

He is big enough to talk and express himself. He is big enough to decide what he likes and what he does not. He is big enough to command me his wishes and big enough to say "I love you dadda". His every word is like lyrics of a song, his every action is a scene of a movie that I cant forget.

Good night stories are my favourite. We read books together where he animates the animals in the story. His expressive eyes, his cute smile and his tiny hands bring the story and me to life. When he narrates his own story, even though its the same one always, it feels new to me.

We are learning so much from each other. We are each others teacher. I teach him the daily chores of survival and he teaches me simplicity, innocence, being inquisite, freedom of expression,...
One can decide who is learning more from whom.

He will grow older, understand the world and people living in it and build his own perceptions. No matter how his perceptions will be, no matter how he makes the world a better place, I have a perception of what he means to me and how he has made my life a little better everyday.